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Saturday, July 23, 2016

THE DATING ZOO

For those happily married people, you are so fortunate. Dating at a late age is difficult. Someone told me, “All the good ones are either married or gay”. There is a lot of truth to that. There is a reason we are single!

Before I moved to Key West, I was on a dating site. I had numerous “meet-n-greets”. Most, I put in the friend zone at that first meeting. A few, it took a couple weeks. Nobody wanted to hear that dreaded request;  "let's just be friends". When I got to Key West, I continued on the dating site, and again started meeting guys. And again, there were many one and only meetings. Then I met Chuck, we hit it off and it lasted three wonderful years. Now, I’m back on the prowl again. I have scoured the dating sites, and read a thousand profiles. They start to all sound the same. EVERYONE loves to travel and listen to live music. EVERYONE is honest, trust worthy, down to earth and knows how to treat a lady. Occasionally, a unique writer creates an interesting profile. Profile pictures. Listen, nobody cares what you looked like 20 years ago, or wants to see a picture of your grandkids or motorcycle. Save those for the third date. 

Here are a few of the statements in profiles I have read:

His perfect match:
  • "Someone who appreciates a man's perspective!" What does that even mean? I asked, he did not respond.
  • "She should be very sharp and "with-it" with a great sense of humor." With-it? humm
  • "Warm. Feisty. Good negotiating skills." Why, is he bull-headed?
  • Another sent me a message and said, "I make pretty pink blankets." Is that code for something? I ignored that one.
What is my type? I’ve been asked this question, and I haven’t figured that out yet. Looks are not everything, but lets be honest, they are important, as is common interests. Couples have to be involved in some of the same activities, or they will grow in different directions. You have to spend time together to form a bond. 

So Lezlie, what qualities does a man have to possess, to peak your interest? 
I’m glad you asked! 
  1. First and foremost, he has to love being on and in the water. Having a boat is a plus, preferably a sailboat. 
  2. Under 6’ tall is preferred. 
  3. The ability and desire to dance is not required, but it makes going out on the town more fun. 
  4. It’s nice if he knows his way around a kitchen.
  5. A good masseuse and kisser makes nighttime activities more enjoyable. 
  6. He has to have a good sense of humor.
  7. Must be a non-smoker. I’m firm on this one.
  8. Age between 55 & 62. If all other qualifications are met, this one can be overlooked.
  9. A good voice to serenade me would be delightful.
  10. Knowing a second language gets you extra points.
I have been asked numerous times if I would ever marry again. I seriously doubt that I would. Have a long term relationship? Absolutely.

I am presently taking applications. All applications will be reviewed for consideration. Thank you.

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