We never know how we are going to touch people’s lives, and what memories we will leave them with. Every one of my possessions has a memory attached to it that includes a person. I have a small shell that puts a smile on my face, remembering my first open water dive. My driftwood shelves remind me of scouring the Texas beach with my pirate friend.
I once knew someone that taught me about triggers. A trigger is something that sets off a memory tape or flashback transporting the person back to the event of her/his original trauma. For 10 years, I was condemned to a life of regret and sadness. I felt like I was walking on eggshells, trying to avoid triggering memories of an unfortunate event that haunted this other person.
Lately, I have been toying with the idea of getting a tattoo. I shared this with a friend, and it was suggested that I get a tattoo of a jellyfish or octopus, with hearts on the tentacles… the kind with cracks. Was not sure how to take that, but it did get me thinking. With all my failed relationships, I concluded that “I” am the common denominator, so I must be the problem, hurting them. I’m tired. Tired of hurting others and tired of being hurt. My heart can’t take it anymore. So I’ve gently packed it away in my set of luggage located in back of my closet.
Now I live a life of singledom and I’m okay with that. I do what I want, when I want. I can turn on the TV and watch what ever I want. I can wear sandals in cold weather and nobody will hassle me about it. This life does have draw backs, but it’s a peaceful life. And peace is what I need now.
How are you impacting the lives of others? Are you a positive influence, or a negative influence? Are you leaving others with a good memory or heartache?
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