Sunday, September 23, 2012

7 Days and Feeling Off Balance...

Selling my possessions, being alone, this has become quite difficult for me.  Selling my security.  Sleep has been impossible.  I know once I reach the other side of this transition, I will be fine.  However, until then...

My friends have been very supportive and I really value their friendship, but they can't hold my hand every moment.  Fear of the unknown has kept me from doing things in my past, it can paralyze me.  Fear of failure, fear of disapproval, fear of embarassment...these are things I need to overcome.

My living room looks like an under-stocked used furniture store.  Not a very homey feeling house.
It's hard to know exactly what I will need in this new living situation.  My living space will be spread out over more ground, and that will take a little getting used to.  There is a learning curve.

I realized that I wear the same clothes over and over, so I went through my closet again and threw away more pieces.  I will not miss them.
I have many plastic tubs, that is what I am packing my stuff in.  Some of this stuff will go with me on the boat, while some will be stored under our tables at my shop.

This new life I'm embarking on, is scary.  You hear about people moving to a new area and reinventing themselves.  I'm not reinventing myself, it's more like finding out who I really am.  I have a tendency to rearrange my world to fit into someone else's world.  Or be who they want me to be.  Recently, I was told by a friend, to not change who I am.  That I am adventurous.  I have never thought of myself as an adventurer.  But, I do have dreams of going fun places and doing fun things.  

Be bold and courageous.  When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.
I must close for now and try and sleep.  Where is that sandman when you need him!

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